The power of secrets

A couple of days ago I was watching a snippet of news and the anchor had brought up the current media storms revolving around Hollywood’s #metoo movement, and the several political leaders currently being examined by law enforcement and the media alike for sexual misconduct. 

This anchor, a lovely middle aged woman, well seasoned in the spotlight and journalism, always appropriately sober faced in her role remained in character for her speech. 

She talked about the power of secrets. 

Perps using financial influence, authority and power to do as they will to others, depending on fear of the receiver of their mongering, advances or assaults to keep quiet. 

Depending also on a biased social justice system that ensures that a victim must have somehow been responsible for the actions of the perpetrator. 

They depend on the shaming and intense scrutiny, that comes along with making serious allegations such as sexual assault. They depend on the guilt and shame ridden emotional load to continually overwhelm their targets, and keep quiet.

Because secrets have power.

But what they are learning now, what anyone who has been paying attention is learning now… how powerful secrets are, and what can happen if secrets are used against the very people who created them.

Wikileaks was shocking, but not surprising, we all know the government hides stuff. Good and bad. But it’s not tangible to most people. At most it’s a surreal thing that gets talked about on the news by serious elderly anchors after the evening national.

But, as the hashtagged #metoo movement barreled across our world, the dialogues, the derailment and even outright shaming and abuse that came of this raw, festering and open global wound became apparent.

Not just women. Men came forward as well, some welcomed with open arms and others told off for trying to take the spotlight. 

Sexual assault is terribly common, and knows no gender, age, race, or social bracket. 

It does however know power, shame and secrets. And the people that commit assault use every tool possible to ensure they can carry on. 

But those secrets are the Achilles heel. And we are certainly coming into and awakening where people are beginning to see that if they are keeping the secrets it is They, not the perps who actually have power. 

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Vulnerability is power.

I don’t know where to begin.

 

Since the #metoo movement began, a tiny little movement that I participated in, I’ve had a continuous stream of thought that has been incredibly overwhelming.

 

From reliving my own personal experiences in shattered disorganized memories disrupting my day to day life, to looking at my own precious daughters, pondering that point in which they, for the first time in their lives will experience that innocence shattering moment of “ick”. That moment when somebody acts in an inappropriate manner to them, and somehow it’s excused by the people surrounding them instead of giving them safe haven.

 

I’ve read articles, and threads, and seen everything from compassion and empathy to derailments and abuse, I’ve watched as everyone debates or decides how they’re going to deal with the overload of information that women are being assaulted everywhere. Men are being assaulted everywhere.

 

There are discussions on where it begins, and debates on how to end it, hundreds of thousands of voices chiming in and the cacophony is surreal and deafening. I can’t say if this will just blow over like most previous high profile sex abuse scandals, the media, and the general public are great at forgetting terrible things very quickly.

 

But now that the dust has settled from the storm, and I have a moment or two to sit down and write it out, I may as well put the jumble of thoughts and words down and sort them out later.

 

From Philip Zombardo and his ted talks on evil and the Stanford Prison experiments, to talks about self compassion and being a whole person, there seem to be many angles in regards to addressing violence, sexual violence in social groups. 

 

Why was everyone so upset about Weinstein? Is anyone really surprised? He moved up in an industry that has made billions of dollars off of pussy.

 

There. I said it.

 

This isn’t the porn industry, but it may as well be, and not just missionary style… oh no… it’s some pretty heavy kink. And everyone seems to be okay with it, At least porn doesn’t mince words or lie about it. They openly say they fuck for a living, the titles speak volumes as to what’s following that inevitable url click. Hot milf taking 10 cocks in her ass. — Busty barely legal getting a spank while her mouth gets slammed.

 

At least a porn viewer can make a decision as to what level and type of sexual experience that are going to purvey.

 

Hollywood doesn’t make it that easy (see them G rated previews on tv for an R rated film), and the people that they employ to give ratings to movies, as well as the people that designed the rules they are supposed to follow should be given a second, sober look.

Slasher films, dramas with rape, sexual objectification in comedy, romance and mystery, more rape, women being stalked and murdered and raped everywhere. Boys being bashed and shut down and told to be a man, men hurting and maiming… oh look that couple kissed. Cut it the hell short. Don’t have the leading actress actually enthusiastically consent to sex, or better yet have her have a shallow dialogue and just give the sex scene the confetti cinematography. And a kazoo sound effect at his climax. If she gets off, rate it x.

Shame them women for enjoying it, shame them for existing. Diddle a little boy here and there to spice it up and mess them up. That boy has potential, make him fall in line, and make him hate sexuality. Fill him with self loathing so he can in turn be a powerful man.

 

Because fuck women.

Fuck em.

Conquer them.

They aren’t people, they’re goals, they’re beasts that need to be controlled from their hair to their genitals.

 

Groom dogs, groom kids.. It’s all the same shit when there’s money to be made and a social ladder to climb.

 

Why? What are they so afraid of?

 

All the professionals, the psychology experts, the professional rapist say it’s about power. It’s about control. That’s a pretty ambiguous sentiment.

These are my questions. I suppose this is the point of the stream of thoughts I mentioned above.

Why is the very essence of being feminine vilified? Why is it frightening? Why does it need to be captured and caged, controlled or destroyed? We can try to blame abrahamic religions, and their despicable bid to subjugate society, but I think that cultural, and social memetic existed prior. It was adopted no different than solstice.

 

It’s a meme, that got out of control, like the spanish flu. It’s killing people, globally. It’s bought and sold and given away like cotton candy flavored cocaine.

Why do women have to fight day in and day out for autonomy? Why are we subjugated? Why are we so dangerous? Who are we dangerous to?

 

Why are little boys crushed in such a way that perpetuates the problem? Why do they have to view their mother as the enemy? The woman that despite sheer exhaustion, and pain brought them into this world, reared them, nurtured them (I’m not going to mention the dysfunctional families at this point because that’s a whole book worth of thought processes) But those boys from good and loving homes that get up one day and try to conquer the pussy?

 

The power of the pussy. The thing that rules our society at large. This body part that is misnamed, shamed, and blamed for… what?

Tempting men, and men losing the battle internally. Men trying to subjugate the need, the biological imperative, that biological imperative having replaced the intimacy that comes with relationships, healthy ones both platonic and sexual.

Isolate, subjugate, conquer.

 

Men are divided from family, from true intimacy, and get the wondrous gift of ego to replace it. Ego is a voracious and terrifying construct, and left unchecked will bring mayhem to life.

Boys will be boys, neglect wrapped in a shiny package of freedom, a license for irresponsibility, and henceforth the Pan shall dance with the lost boys in neverland dreaming of Wendy fair.

Broken boys growing into men’s bodies, never given the opportunity to be close, to experience intimacy and taught in offhand ways that the only way to be intimate is through sex.

 

The power of the pussy.

 

Wives and girlfriends scream and yell and nag, begging for emotional closeness with men that are essentially still misguided boys, that have egos that will prevent them from growing. It’s hard to come to terms with the idea that you hurt the people you love and just want to be close to. And you hurt them because that’s the only way you know how to interact, because boys will be boys.

 

Loathe thyself for you’re contemptible for merely existing.

 

Maybe I’m wrong, maybe what I’m seeing is normal and I should accept that’s just the way it is.

 

Maybe women being subjugated through objectification, programmed to respond to acknowledgement, from peers and especially the male eye. You aren’t worth a damn if you can’t rise to the occasion of being the sexiest, and most one dimensional creature in existence. All women are your competition. Worthy of the abuse they receive.

Why?

Damned if I know, I’m not educated. I’m not smart, I’m just on this side of the river stix, trying to get by.

Men aren’t from mars nor are women from venus. We don’t speak different languages, we do however listen with different biases. Or don’t listen at all, because hearing the truth, hearing each other, listening to the pain of existence means vulnerability, which means having to admit dishing out soul torturing pain, and hell on earth.

It means being completely intimate with oneself let alone another human, and we have been taught from our day ones, to avoid that at all costs. We have been taught that self awareness is as dirty as a good old fashioned throat fucking.

Yes there are schools that teach people the idea of self awareness, but it takes more than a group of hippies to get a person to be truly honest with themselves, to be intimate and gentle and compassionate to themselves, and then to move to giving that same treatment to other people with no goal in mind.

The salvation of the pussy.

Healthy, happy women, have an easier time of being vulnerable, being intimate, and loving. And more often than not, that behavior is twisted into sexual advances, or treated as flirting as opposed to being open and loving for it’s own sake.

This is power. Having intimacy as a freely flowing construct, neither taken or given, just being. This is what men want, desire. They wish for normal closeness, not some bastardized life of isolation and loneliness competing with partner after partner as to which gender is more powerful or better than. Men desire the closeness of a bosom buddy, a confidant, and not get shamed for it.

The act of vulnerability, is continually treated as something shameful, female and child related and to be quashed at all costs. Including the cost of one’s own well being and essential human virtue. Yet those who are openly vulnerable even through hurt, tend to be more resilient.

 

Why?

 

Intimacy. They have more intimate connections with more people and as the pains of life cut their souls, they have the support they need, as they are also support for others. They heal, they grow, they move forward.

 

But these boys wrapped in flashy man bodies. Stoic, angry, brooding, jealous, needing affirmation, see the vulnerable with some sort of intangible power.

They need to take it. Take away that power of vulnerability, because it isolates. Isolation the easiest way to subjugate.

 

This might be why the #metoo movement is so very important, and the derailment of stating that victims, shouldn’t have to bear their souls to get this addressed is problematic. Maybe they shouldn’t, but it might be the very reason these people are resilient. They reach out, they connect and build up power with each other, from each other.

 

Intimacy between strangers to fight the stoic isolation that patriarchal movement really slams down upon society in order to maintain a certain type of control.

 

Why?

That’s for another day.

 

That’s for another day

Inrage

Oh the outrage.
People are outraged over things. Lots of things everywhere. Outrage is what’s in. Rage is in. Inrage.

There are outraged because a t-shirt could be misconstrued that is promoted by a walking dead star.

People are outraged and have created a movement against one particular group that has been doing bad things, but lumping everyone else they don’t agree with into that group, and displaying the same hateful tactics.

People are outraged over mislabeled fish, and chemical stuff and their neighbors dog.

People are outraged for other people who dgaf about the thing that is outrageous.

I’m jumping on the bandwagon.

I’m outraged at hospitals sending home sick babies to take chances with death and forcing parents to give the level of care a fully trained rn does with no training and no help.

I’m outraged that society keeps kicking it’s vulnerable down in order to keep the next in line afloat in order to keep certain other people living in  the lap of luxury.

I’m outraged that the food industry throws away billions of dollars of food away per year because it isn’t saleable and the poverty level is so high. Here and everywhere.

I’m outraged that there is a cure for some cancers that is not licensed meaning nobody owns a patent to it and because big pharmacy can’t make billions and corner the market, people are suffering and dying.

I’m outraged for all of the people in my life that are suffering from anxiety and depression because we live in a sick society that has a very uncertain fiscal and technological future. A society that has marginalized all things not fitting that system that is failing. A society that despises age and reminders of death, and puts sparkles on the trials of parent hood. 

I’m outraged at being lied to day in and day out just to sell me crap that will last just past the warranty that I didn’t need on the first place, so I can throw it into our overflowing landfills.

I’m outraged that I get more solid information from comedians than from the news. — that said I’m outraged that I have to agree with Trump.

I’m outraged because Americans are so desperate for security from the above unknowingly, have elected someone like trump because they don’t know what else to do.

We Canadians did it too. And we paid the price for it. So did our environment.

I’m outraged that what we keep asking for isn’t being done and our leaders are shirking their duties. For the sake of the next term promise.

I’m sick of entitlement. People that believe they are entitled to exorbitant wealth, objects, rights, other people’s decisions, access to other people’s bodies, freedom, life, or liberty. 

We aren’t entitled. But we are sharing this space, and seem to be pissing it up a wall between America and Mexico.  Have have a very uncertain future, and we as a global community have to take a step back and address what’s actually happening. We need to make provisions for what is already changing and prepare for what is most likely certain. 

There are two ways to lead. 

A common enemy (the enemy isn’t who you think it is)

A common goal (the goal is pretty simple)

Civilizations come and go

With all of the strange violence and chaos that seems to be popping up lately, one has to pause and wonder what it is that is actually going on?

What would make a middle class suburban kid decide to go and fight for some strange violent group of people in a foreign country?

Security and a sense of direction, meaning in life, solid foundations regardless of creed.

We are at a nexus point in human civilization and most people are unaware of it.

The digital revolution is no longer a revolution, but an evolution. There are no answers to the days ahead, no predictability at all.

For the longest time I expected some major upheaval, more dissent something tangible that would signify the end of civilization as we know it, and either the human race imploding or us making some sort of major advancement.

But today while I was looking at new tech trying to ponder how to prepare the twins for adulthood I came to realize something.

It’s happening. We are moving forward regardless of trademarks, profits and property rights. We are as a species circumventing the powers that be, and we are unifying in a way that has never happened before.

Free knowledge and public licensing in technology has opened the floodgates. And access on a global level is giving laypeople the opportunity to create real-time practical solutions to their environments, all the while crowdsourcing the resources they may not have.

It all seems a sham to people who hold power because they can’t calculate it. You can’t tally knowledge and there are no dividends on freedom. But there is a technocratic creep happening. In fact it’s upon us and we don’t have the faintest idea what it will bring.

Which brings me back to people going to strange lands and adopting violent mantras. They see it, and don’t understand it, and they are looking for a solid conservative direction to protect them.

Ultra conservative people need a sense of meaning and defined directions and roles in order to feel safe. It’s ingrained in our genome, and has served us in the past even though it doesn’t serve us now.

But the change is upon us and there is nothing that can be done aside from complete destruction of humanity to end it. And nobody is insane enough to step across that line.

As the change comes, it will keep accelerating and those able to adapt and think on their feet will have the most success.

What we are seeing is the death throes of a dying civilization, but as there are so many of us, humanity itself as a whole will be here to usher in its replacement unlike previous civilizations.

All in all we are going to see some amazing things in the short term, and I look forward to where it’s going.

Your Messiah

If your Messiah were to stand before you, would you recognise that person?

If your Messiah said to you, I am the way, would you persecute your Messiah for blasphemy?

If your Messiah was helping a person that you didn’t like, would you shun your Messiah? Would you pass by and arrogantly huff under your breath?

If your Messiah knocked on your door and asked for your help, your compassion, and your empathy, would you slam the door?

Don’t lie, because your God knows what’s in your heart.

If your God sent you someone to tell you what you need to know to move towards a heaven on earth would you give up your comfort to follow?

Would your messiah be pleased that you contributed to detroying the Earth that we are supposed to build the kingdom heaven on?

Would your Messiah be pleased that countless people have been left to starve, yet we have everything needed to ensure the health, wellbeing and safety of all people, everywhere?

What if…

In each generation was born one Messiah, and one supergenius. And in each generation we shut them down because they don’t fit in to our Ego generated social construct?

Tesla was a pinnacle of brilliance and by the time he died, he was destroyed. What if he had been given the respect and wellbeing that he deserved? What else could have brought to the world?

How many Teslas have been hiding behind closed doors knowing that if they speak up, that they will be shunned and emotionally damaged beyond repair?

Is your messiah looking at you through your mirror in the morning, and wondering when you will stop and listen to your heart, and not your ego, listen to your soul and not your fear?

Is your messiah now yelling at you, telling you that you don’t need armaggedon for salvation, that to make a heaven on earth, the key is to release your fear, to give away your ego, and to live in harmony with nature and all beings?

Is your messiah telling you daily that your selfishness and overconsumption is the root of your pain and emptiness inside?

Veiled racism

For anyone knows me, my ex boyfriend is a British Ex Pat. And he pointed out how surprised at the veiled racism that Canadians tend to have.

We are touted as a cultural melting pot internationally, but, there is a lot of bigotry slithering through our societal norms.

We would go for coffee and chat witb people and they would rant about “New Canadians” to my landed immigrant significant other.
He would twitch out and say, “But I’m a new Canadian.”
To which the reply would invariably be, “But you’re different…”
He would answer, “Like wot?? Coz I’m pink, not brown?!? Sod off ya c*nt!!” (he’s Cockney)

That being said, I have chums from all kinds of backgrounds and you know what I’ve found? Everyone’s a bigot and everyone stereotypes. It’s just white, hetero people did such an extreme job of of being bigoted assholes we pissed everyone off, and can’t get away with it.

So, here we sit at the tail end of a never ending election campain that has somehow brought the veiled bigotry out into the open, ironically because of veils. And it has created amazing discussions.

The dialogue it has created, may just be what we need as Canadians, both new and born, to take stock in our apathy and shallow divisions.

Thank you Harper, we have an opportunity to discuss the elephant in the room now that the tablecloth fell off of her.

Your dirty politics might backfire because regardless of the veiled bigotry, most Canadians are smart enough to know that their discomfort is a personal issue, and we tend to live and let live.

So, please try to divide us in more ridiculous ways, then we have more to talk about!