It’s not the dirt, it’s the hot air.
Consequences are funny, sometimes they are obvious, like when you test a fart and alas, you are running to the bathroom with an extra squishy warm and smelly addition to your wardrobe. Others though, are much more subtle and complex and may not be instant.
Two guys, both in supposedly committed relationships bump into a woman (guy #1’s ex) of ill repute. The other fellow guy #2 sparks up with her, and they begin a distanced sexual relationship that is shared with guy #1. They feed their egos and begin to distance themselves from their significant others.
Wife # 1 has no idea what is going on other than she is feeling neglected. Wife # 2 same thing. Both have different ways of dealing with feeling rejected and neglected. Wife # 1 looks for comfort after almost a year… wife # 2 starts digging for answers. neither is in the right, and neither in the wrong… human nature is a funny thing, and may as well embrace misanthropy.
Wife # 1 cheats… Wife # 2 gives up trying to make things work and starts calling everything out, but looking for a way out herself.
Guy # 1 starts punishing his wife for her behaviour by projecting his feelings of anger and guilt and feelings of betrayal of trust on his wife. They both fucked up. They need to be honest.
Guy # 2 starts projecting his feelings onto his wife and she continues to dig. She verbally puts his projection on her shoulders in a passive aggressive way. And still looks for a way out. They both fucked up. He needs to be honest and she needs to accept or leave.
But it seems there’s also some dirt, some fear etc. But what has happened is that Guy # 1 and Guy # 2 value their friendship and relationship more than they value the relationships at home, and will do anything including bankruptcy long term emotional damage and heaven knows what else to protect their little tryst and their little relationship.
Or maybe it’s simpler than that. They value their egos more than their partners, and will destroy every hope and dream they have to protect said ego.
Is there a solution? maybe, but it isn’t my problem.